Maple Syrup and Mayhem

The Maple Syrup Festival is held in Wacarusa, In. It's in the outermost reaches of Indiana past the myriad of single lane roads, through the fields and villages. Commercial society doesn't hold tight here with mom and pop shops lining the two main streets that intersect in downtown. If you had a decent arm, you could throw a stone from one end of the downtown business district to the other without completely throwing your arm.  Cell phones seem almost out of place though it seems like everyone (except for the amish it seems) has them.  We were set up on an empty lot where a building once stood. From the looks of it, it's one of the few buildings they have ever taken down. One shop has been up since 1915. I was without wifi.
I love my wifi. As much as it pains me to say it, I need wifi. It's not a necessity to live and I don't freak out without it but anything that we hold dear technologically speaking doesn't mean a dingo's kidney without wifi. We might as well be holding extremely expensive paper weight/watch/calculators.
The festival itself was a blast to perform and the wind seemed to agree. Large blasts and gusts of winds destroyed one of our canopies and...
*I must say that the word "Canopies" looks so much like "Can-o-pies" which sounds disgusting but in desperate times I would gladly eat it.*
And.....it managed to batter most of our equipment.
True story about the Maple Syrup Festival
I will tell you two small bits.
1. The Maple syrup festival was created 45 years ago because...well everyone had a festival at the time and the town thought...hey! why not? In fact, they used to tap all the maple trees on main street for syrup and have it at the festival. Unfortunately, teenagers started urinating in the buckets on main street and so they had to stop that touching tradition. Now all of the maple syrup at the festival comes from a local Amish farmer who makes it.  (I got a baby jug of it)
2. I did manage to get wifi at the grounds where i was staying...but it required me to stand in a port-o-potty near a funeral home to get it. (yes in a sense I was getting my wifi from the dead)(it was ethereal-net)(it was a guest wifi....for those crossing over)
Well that's all I have to say about that.
stay tuned for some more insanity, t-shirts?, mayhem and more! Luv you all!
-Jim

If Women Were Hot Pockets

TEN WAYS TO BE CLEVERLY SUPERFICIAL UNDER THE GUISE OF FOOD!

Men and women are often inclined to make quick judgments on their fellow men and woman. Strangely enough, they use words like "hot", "cool", "sexy", "fine" and even phrases like "brick house" and "tall glass of water". Though I am sure these descriptions are accurate, I feel that they lack the necessary descriptive properties to define the person as a whole. BUT! Do not be afraid. I have a solution...
Men and women descriptive slang for internal and external features!

1. She/he is a hotpocket

Note: this isn't to say they she/he is available in at your local grocer.

A hotpocket (when heated) often leaves the outer edges unbearably hot and the center cold. Thus, a man or woman who is extremely hot (attractive) but has a "cold" personality can be called a "hotpocket"

2. For group settings, you can substitute the hotpocket phrases with pizza rolls instead

A group that is a fair mix of relatively hot people with cold centers is a Plate of Pizza Rolls

3. She/he is macaroni and cheese

This can be taken apart in a few ways....

a. She/he is Easy Mac, the derogatory term "easy" does not imply the common place "easy." This describes a person who comes on to needy or overbearlingly enjoys you.  (easy mac is often too soggy and wet to be eaten unless made by a pure genius)

b. She/he is Kraft Mac n. Cheese, This is your above average person, good looking with a good "cheesy" comedy that makes you smile. Hot-warm and often decently dressed.

c. She/he is homemade Mac and Cheese. I want to marry this person. now. That's what you mean when you say it. 

4. She/he is Marie Callender's Lasagna

Beware, she/he is hot but is also high maintenance. She/he will take forever to get ready and require multiple opinions on whether or not she/he is really hot yet. 

5. She/he is McDonalds

She/he is okay, has one of those faces you think you've seen everywhere but you're just not sure. Though their profile picture looks great, you see them in person and you are disappointed. Though some of you hang around because you were good friends in kindergarten, just not the type you are really looking for...ultimately, this is a friend zone. It's your lack of real flavor...not me. 

6. She/he is Jello

Jello comes in all shapes and sizes, it's a jolly person of any shape that you enjoy, especially at parties!

7. She/he is old milk

They seem okay at a glance, but one deeper look and you'll smell it...another look and you'll hear it, one sniff and you'll see it's terrible. (applicable to all races, not just white....or green)

8. She/he is Top Ramen

Honestly, you don't know what to think of them, until you get them in some other situation, you really don't know. 

9. She/he is Margarine 

Fake personality and fake tan....all those artificial flavors and artificial colorings...I don't know what to do with you. just stop.

10. She/he is Chinese Food

Doesn't matter how old they get, this is someone you can come how to, a bit spicy when you need it, warm when you want it, cold when you need it and just right any time of the day.

There you go.......ten things you really didn't need to know but now you know it!  I'm not suggesting you label people, but if I took the time to label people...this is how I would do it

As a last thought, opposites attract for a reason....why? I've got my thoughts, what are yours?

-J

A-musings on life and creativity.....out of the mind of Jim

Good Morning Star Shine, The Earth Says Hello!

So today I have decided to share with you the inner workings of the mind of Jim.....

Here are my viewpoint on crucial issues in life:

Life:

1. Life is full of awkward moments. You either drown in them or learn to surf on the waves of awkwardness in the disturbed pool of ordinary life.

2. Life is a dance...sometimes I'm the beautiful swan but most of the time I'm that awkward white guy in the corner trying to clap to the beat and missing....terribly....plus who puts swans on a dance floor??

Sleep: Non existent. I shut my eyes and pretend to be awake

The Universe: if I said more than one line, it would be a multiverse.

Religion: -prefix "re" as in redo or reform....well whatever "ligion" is, I'm sure I don't want to do it again.

Truth: The opposite of false as in lies or lying...thus if I lie whilst simultaneously lying down...double negative, it's a truth and I'm living in a hammock for the rest of my life saying whatever I want.

Beauty: Is relative...as in I'm relatively beautiful and I don't care what you think...no really.  

Here's some poetry for you....:

"Wisdom 2"

"'Forgive the mark', the artisan admits
Lest imperfection implicates a fool
For what perceivers blind to blemish be
In admonition causes most to see."

-Jim

"Wisdom 1"

Old Souls in young bones, be wise 
And in this wisdom, maturation find
For young at heart will oft be led astray
Despite the soul's contention ever with.

-Jim

"Wayfarer's Life"

I fare the way 
Wayfarers stay 
With highway bones 
And gypsy hearts 
This circus home 
Where e'er I roam 
From this here shore 
To land apart 
Cannot be bound 
The ocean sound 
Receding waves 
In grasping hands 
Wayfarers go 
Perform the show 
To make your life 
Upon the lands.
-Jim

And lastly, here's two songs you can love or hate. Really it's your choice, but I love them both haha....oh the King of Spain.

"All of Me" John Legend

"King of Spain" Moxy Fruvous